Make it a Habit of Making a Habit
And just like that, it’s the second month of the third quarter of the year! A new month, a chance to do something different!
Q3 is the mid point of where we are with our goals. To look back at how much we accomplished from Q1 until now. Be proud of those accomplishments! Establishing good habits lay the foundation in reaching your goals.
I set a financial goal in 2017 to be “debt free in 2018.” I was diligently working toward that goal to no avail. That year ended up being financially tumultuous after losing my full time job and relying solely on income from A Gill of all Trades, my side hustle. The income from the side hustle wasn’t enough to cover the basics. Surrendering to my then reality was the only choice to make. I cut the cable cord, borrowed Wifi from my neighbor, and stopped making even the minimum payments to debtors, no matter the harsh outcome of the latter sacrifice. I knew my credit would be negatively affected but that was the choice I made and in surrendering I had to be okay with the outcome of having made that choice.
It took eight months to secure another full time gig; eight months behind on payments. I had a lot of catching up to do.
It was the second month of the fourth quarter then. I set a goal to be “debt free in 2018,” in the first quarter of the year, only to lose the main source of my income three months later. I wouldn’t secure another gig until the second month of the Q4. Had I not lost the main gig I would be debt free today.
I had to readjust, revise, and rewrite those financial goals.
Slow Progress is Still Progress
Looking at my overall debt was depressing. What I owed and what I dished out every month in monthly payments made me angry at myself for allowing myself to be a slave to credit; I vowed I would no longer be indebted to anyone thereafter. I mapped out the plan, made arrangements with creditors, and executed. The goal to be debt free meant setting up a doable repayment plan.
So began the sacrifices.
With a full time income and side hustle income, I was still broke at the end of every month playing catch up. Every month calling those debtors to make payments, and every month looking at that debt and the time frame it was going to take to pay it off, depressed me even more. I bought the bare minimum at the grocery store (needs vs. wants), and grocery shopped in my mother’s kitchen often. I declined invitations to gatherings and events because I couldn’t afford to spend money frivolously, I postponed trips, parked my jeep and took public transportation so not to waste money on gas. I had become more frugal than I had ever been and it drove me crazy!
In the process of chipping away slowly; however, I changed the trajectory. I saw the fruits of those sacrifices 18 months later where I paid off half of my debt! From seeing the amount of debt and the pay off dates, to actually having done it within the time frame, made me excited about attaining that debt free goal.
When it was time to set my 2019 financial goals, I upped the ante on sacrifices and cut out unnecessary expenses. I had learned how to survive on less during the two years of having very little income coming in and having very little income left over after paying the monthly living expenses. I sold my 14 year old jeep. Something I would’ve never done in the past. I told myself I needed that car. But the truth was, I spent more money repairing it and pumping gas into it that it wasn’t worth keeping it for the sake of having a mode of transportation. It was cheaper to buy a commuter pass, and, I was fortunate enough to live in a neighborhood where everything I needed was within walking distance.
Five months and counting, I am still without a vehicle. I miss having one every single day, but four things happened in selling that jeep:
I was introduced to Dave Rasmey’s 7 Baby Steps via a conversation in a salon. Following Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps, https://www.daveramsey.com/dave-ramsey-7-baby-steps I used the money from the sale of the jeep toward Baby Step #1: saving $1,000 toward an emergency starter fund, and the money I saved on car insurance and gas I’m able to put toward building Baby Step #3: Save 3-6 months living expenses.
Walking and taking public transportation to run errands were a drag, and I cursed myself every time I had to make that sacrifice, but a shift happened; I was motivated to get up early on the weekends, get off my ass, get shit done, and get out of the house.
I began to enjoy those weekend walks around the neighborhood.
I came close to financing a $9,000 car and stopped myself. I paid off half of my debt, why was I about to put myself right back where I started 18 months ago debt-wise? Thus, I became a more cautious spender.
The goal to be debt free became greater than my present needs. I would have to continue to make necessary choices to get me to the debt free finish line! I made it a habit of making a habit.
Habits Don’t Form Themselves
The saying goes, it takes 21 days for something to become habitual and equally to break a habit.
It takes courage to recognize a pattern and change a habit; to give up something or go without something in order to reap greater rewards later. Not everyone can do it. Setting a goal and executing that goal by any means necessary is no easy feat. You have to be willing to let go of outdated thought processes, and that’s hard to do when we’ve become conditioned to believe a certain thing and continue to act upon those beliefs.
Habit isn’t a task to check off on a list. Habit is giving up something for something else. It’s doing the same thing or it’s doing something different. Changing a habit or giving one up requires something of you and from you: Courage. Strength. Determination. Resilience.
You only have to take one small step toward creating a new habit.
When Q3 rolled in, I returned from a fabulous vacation, where I visited three cities and two states and I got a chance to spend time with my gal pal whom I hadn’t seen in over 10 years! That vacation restored something within me. Maybe it was those long 18 months of financial sacrifice that made me appreciate taking a vacation. Maybe it was spending time with my gal pal and the great convos we shared about our goals and the changes we’ve made over the years.
I thought long and hard about how I was spending my time, my days, my life. I was merely existing, I wasn’t living. I didn’t do anything that brought me joy, like the hobbies I used to submerge myself in; hobbies I put on the back burner while my children were younger to cater to their needs and their extra curriculum activities—willingly.
My days during this debt free goal were spent going to work, working on improving my side hustle, the occasional outings to gal pals’ homes, and really nothing else. That’s pretty much how I had been living for the last 18 months. All the free time I wish I had when my kids were younger, running around being soccer mom and catering to their needs, now, as adults and doing for themselves, the free time made itself available and I was squandering it.
The vacation motivated me to make some lifestyle changes, and I hadn’t been motivated in quite a long time. Turning 51 this year made me think about my health and the bad habits I needed to break in order to be a healthier version of me. I eat pretty healthy, however, I hadn’t been truly taking care of myself on a holistic level. I was drinking too much and had gotten out of the habit of doing my daily mindfulness routine: 10 minutes each of yoga, meditation, reciting affirmations or listening to motivational content, writing in my gratitude journal, and reading something motivational all before starting my day.
It was no coincidence I returned from my vacation on the first day of a new month and a new quarter. There was no better time to readjust my health goals. Within that first week I mapped out and executed a 22 day detox plan. I ate totally raw for the first 7 days and then slowly incorporated 1 cooked meal starting with veggies, then bringing carbs back, and lastly protein, (the latter became less of an option). I took advantage of a special gym membership for a lower monthly payment and started taking a weekly Yogalates class. Baby steps. My Q4 goals will be to add another class.
Do Something Different
As we're in the second month of the third quarter, and as we review our goals, may we challenge ourselves to get into the habit of creating a new habit. Changing one small thing, taking one small step will change the trajectory of your course, so that when the fourth quarter rolls in, the habit becomes a new way of thinking, doing, being. Motivation comes in ebbs and flows, which is why you must make doing something different part of your next quarter goals. Then define what that “something different is/will be.” Then execute. The return on your investment will be a new way of being.
Be great…the world needs more of that!
~ Gillian
